Mama vs Three-nager

The headline at our house this weekend could have read: Triple Header… Mama vs Three-nager. My partner was working a series of night shifts, I was doing the long days and nights on my own and this is how it went.

Part 1:

I take the boy to a community magic show so that the house is quiet and my partner can sleep. When the boy desperately wants a cupcake with green icing and I say “no” explaining my good reason, he runs away into the crowd and then flops on the ground between the exit doors. I pick him up, hold him tight as he flails on top of my 8 month pregnant belly and carry him across the main street of town. It feels like the whole community is watching me see me fail at motherhood.

Part 2:

My partner had left for work and it was time to start the bedtime routine. The boy choose an apple for snack. When I bring him the apple pieces that I thoughtfully lovingly sliced into pieces, the crying and shouting begins…apparently I wasn’t supposed to cut it up! The tears continue because I took his under-wear off (like every other night) to put on his pajama bottoms. By this time he kicking to avoid the pants and telling me I am not his best friend anymore. Once the wardrobe drama finishes he decides he does not have to brush his teeth because he has not been listening and needs to go straight to bed. I don’t disagree!

Part 3:

The boy and I have been outside to run off some energy and do a little fall gardening. He was happily playing in the leaves, picking up sticks, and telling me stories about the squirrels. When I give him the 5 minute notice for going inside the sticks start flying, the stones are being crashed and my happy child is growling at me in his “bad guy” voice saying that he’s not going to be a helpful boy anymore. I’m not quite sure what I did to upset him again this time, but here we are again!

Can someone remind me why I’m exhausted? My brain hurts.